by Anthony Fernandez, April 21st, 2015
Welcome everyone! It's your local AP fiend Anthony Fernandez here, ready to ruffle some feathers (and hopefully provide a little entertainment.) I wrote most of this on my planning period at school today, and I'll proofread it once I get my kids home with a few read throughs and revisions. This article is a Power Rankings, but serves as a revision of a previous thing I did way back in GZL... where I themed the Power Rankings after something that interested me. I think I've done TV shows, Coheed and Cambria songs, rock groups, actors... whatever. So far for SFL, I've done a Simon & Garfunkel themed one at about the midseason mark last year. I was ( 7-1 ) at the time, gave myself a good ranking in the same category as (eventual NFC Champion Minnesota Vikings), but worrily prophesized,
"Perhaps I just feel the unbearable weight of expectations and impending doom as I prepare mentally for the thousands of ways my ( 7-1 ) team is going to blow this and miss the playoffs. I finished the year ( 8-8 ) and missed the playoffs. So yeah, I never circled back and did a 2nd installment last year, which may make the "last raking" tracking on this one seem a little wonky, but it's still a fun barometer in my opinion to see how far we've come. That said, I hope to have 4 installments of this for 2015. We shall see!
Rent
#1 
Denver Broncos | (4-0)| Last Rank: 10th 
(+9)
"I can't control (control your temper) my destiny (she doesn't see) I trust my soul (who says that there's a soul) my only goal."
Did you know that one of the main characters in Rent was...
(wait for it)... Tom Collins. No, not
our Tom, but a Tom nonetheless. In Rent, Tom Collins was an anarchist. Here? He's fine. Kinda old and boring now, tbh, compared to the old RZL days, but that's fine. Yes, I lived long enough to see Tom Collins become my boss. And that's usually not so fun when the person hates you... as I'm pretty confident Tom Collins does, in fact, hate me. And I've given him reasons to over the years. But now... as an old man... with a grandkid? I really don't have space for "rivals" anymore. I just kinda want to be his friend, sadly. And I think we both have more in common that we'd care to admit. But we always end up at the same intersection. Usually he's overcritical of me or something I do. I take offense, and say something dumb. Then we both become the worst version of ourselves. But it all stems from the one simple problem, that as a regular guy in this league.... it FEELS.... like I live (dare I say)
RENT-free in his mind. And that's not a great way to feel. And to compound all that, He's (4-0), scoring more than 30 points per game, and looks very much unstoppable. While the Bills, Raiders, and Jaguars are a combined (1-10)... Tom doesn't get to pick who he plays. And the games aren't even close. Last week he went into Indy and wiped the floor with Breck and his struggling Colts. Rookie Darren Waller already has a pair of touchdowns. Gronk has been dominating. It's been a very impressive start. I think after the first quarter of the season, they appear to be the team to beat in SFL... and are already distancing themselves in the AFC West. While Tom has largely struggled in Denver, there is precedent for him being a dominant GM. In his previous stint in Cleveland he made it to 4 AFC Championship Games in 5 years. That team was never quite able to get over the hump, causing Tom to lose his temper and start over in Denver. Let's see if he has more control over his destiny this time around. Or at the very least... take control over the way he and I interact with each other in this nerdy, public space.
Chicago
#2 
Chicago Bears | (4-0)| Last Rank: 16th (+14)
"You can like the life you're living, you can live the life you like"
The Bears have one of the more impressive resumes through the first quarter of 2015. They started the year off by easily dispatching of the commish IN San Diego, and then doubled down by beating up the Chiefs Week 2. Weeks three they ended up scoring a touchdown victory over my Cowboys, and then in their most impressive feat, they bullied the undefeated Lions in Detroit. They could easily be ranked #1 overall, but I did have some concerns about them watching my game. As bad as we've been playing, we did have a lead on them in the 4th quarter in Chicago. I still think this is a very good team that looks like they have NO intention of bending the knee for the Lion Kings, but the next two weeks will tell us a lot about the Bears. They go TO Green Bay, and then are home vs. the struggling Vikings. If they split that series, they then have a layup Eagles game before Round 2 with the Lions. That could potentially be the rare "knockout" game in Week 8. If the Bears have a 3 or 4 game lead with 8 weeks left, I think they're too talented to squander it... other than a catastrophic injury. But either way, it's nice to see a GM doing things their way, and loving the results.
West Side Story
#3 
San Francisco 49ers | (4-0)| Last Rank: 14th (+11)
"Every one of you hate every one of us, and we hate you right back!"
#4 
Seattle Seahawks | (3-1)| Last Rank: 23rd (+19)
"Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease."
Here we are, the west coast boys. The Cardinals have won the last 4 straight NFC West Championships (and six of the last eight). The other two? The Rams. The Seahawks last won the NFC West in 2006, while the 49ers haven't won it since 2004! That's crazy. A lot of folks predicted the 49ers were going to be good this year. I was NOT one of them. I think I had them missing the playoffs. And yet, here we are - the 49ers look like a premier team in the NFC, and just beat the Seahawks, who were previously undefeated. I can't knock the Seahawks too far down, considering their only loss was the tough 49ers, so hopefully that explains why I have them ahead of an undefeated Jets team (who had trouble dispatching winless Buffalo this week). With the Rams and Cardinals BOTH at (0-4), it seems LIKELY that we'll have one of these two teams win the NFC West for the first time in nearly a DECADE. Early, the slight edge goes to San Fran. I liked these two quotes from West Side Story, because all 4 of these teams really hate each other, and all 4 are highly skilled rosters with veteran QBs. The Rock quote I thought was perfect, as he just seems like such a funny, juvenile and jovial guy. The texts he sent Will on draft day come to mind. Cheers!
Hamilton
#5 
New York Jets | (4-0)| Last Rank: 31st (+26)
"In New York you can be a new man"
#6 
Miami Dolphins | (3-1)| Last Rank: 1st 
(-5)
"I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love."
#7 
Pittsburgh Steelers | (3-1)| Last Rank: 26th (+19)
"This is not a moment, it's a movement."
#8 
Green Bay Packers | (3-1)| Last Rank: 27th (+19)
"Look at where you are. Look at where you started. The fact that you're alive is a miracle. Just stay alive, that would be enough."
#9 
Carolina Panthers | (3-1)| Last Rank: 17th (+8 )
"Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now."
#10 
Baltimore Ravens | (3-1)| Last Rank: 11th (+1)
"I'm not throwing away my shot!"
Ah, Hamilton. My favorite musical I've ever seen in person... and probably my favorite musical ever. The songs are amazing, so quotable. And at the top of this category, we have one of my favorite GMs of all time, Mr. Mullendore. Kev was damn near the bottom of the Power Rankings last time, but easily becomes the biggest RISER in this 2nd installment as the Jets jump up 26 spots. It looks like all Kev needed to light a fire under his ass was the hot seat. The Jets started the season off hot with two impressive wins over the Patriots and Ravens, and then had quite the upset of the Super Bowl Champion Dolphins. All very impressive resume wins that seem to confirm these are "new men" in New York, not the bottom of the barrel team last year that couldn't catch a break. Week 4 though reinstalled a little shakiness, as the Jets struggled in Buffalo with the winless Bills. Division games are always tough, regardless of record, so I still think the Jets are an early favorite to run away with a Playoff BYE, but the tiny crack in the armor against Buffalo was enough to make me think Seattle might be slightly stronger at this point, even at (3-1). The Dolphins take a bit of a tumble from #1 to #6... but they remain (3-1) with their only loss coming to the Jets. This Dolphins team is still quite formidable, and while it might be exciting and tempting to see new blood at the top in the AFC, let's not forget that Daren is still THE KING (George III), and this Brit has no problem crushing and killing your friends and loved ones to remind you of his love for you... the group of GMs he's dominated over the last three years as back-to-back-to-back KING of the AFC. I won't rule out Miami at all. Hell, I viewed being within a Touchdown of them in the 4th quarter as a minor victory. Next up we have the Steelers and Packers - two teams that anchored the "Hazy Shade of Winter" category last year. Flash forward 12 weeks and their two of the biggest risers. From waiting out top 5 draft position (and not owning their own picks) to (3-1) and seemingly in real races for playoff spots in their conference. The Steelers especially stand out as a team that not only is overachieving, but also has FOUR 1st round draft picks next year... including the 1st of the Jacksonville Jaguars and Philadelphia Eagles... who could easily both be Top 3 picks. I don't think this is a "moment" for them, this is a MOVEMENT! The Steelers will be Kings of the North before long. Winter is coming, and it will be a long reign. As for the other Northern Packers... what a job Gary has done. Very few GMs can say they "won one" on Breck... but the early returns from the Matt Ryan / Andrew Luck trade SEEM to indicate that the Packers made out like bandits. Luck has been amazing, and has seemingly turned around the fortunes of everyone involved in Green Bay. It's still an extremely tough division, but a big win over the Vikings this week makes me think MAYBE, just MAYBE they are legit. When you consider where they were, and how far they've come - two straight years of being "fired" and not being able GIVE AWAY this team, it really is a miracle with how great they're playing. Great work, Gary. Rounding out the Hamilton category we have the Panthers and Ravens. For Phil and his upstart Panthers... I think it's pretty self explanatory. We've all been following along with hopeful thoughts for our resident SFL "son." Phil has been dealing with a recent health scare, and became the first father/son duo to watch their madden game from a hospital bed. Like that game and this health scare, Phil is coming out the other end better and stronger than before. As someone who has struggled with blood pressure, I'm happy that they caught this for Phil, and are working on finding the right mix of meds to get him right. And as an added bonus, his Panthers are rewarding him for his hard work building this team the last few years by a (3-1) record and early control of the NFC South. It's a wide open division, but I think Phil is clearly the favorite now. As for the Ravens, this was one of our first (and only) "barely moved" teams from the last installment. Norb has his Ravens again in the pole position of the North... much to the surprise of some. The Ravens weren't mocked very favorably in some of the preseason SFL media, and it was noticeable at how much it bothered Norb that GMs felt his window was closing. I think the initial thought process was that the team found magic in Jimmy G, and would need to close that window themselves to get him developed to fit INTO that window... but the team has done the opposite and doubled down on trying to seal the deal with Thigpen. Thigpen has 14 TDs, 3 INT, 1103 yards, and a 116.7 QBR... so he's certainly not ready to give up his position, either, even at 31 years old. The Bengals are probably their most impressive win on the resume though, who aren't ranked very high... but they are a good team. They also hung with the undefeated Jets. I still like the Steelers slightly better LONG TERM, because of all the draft capital, but I won't be surprised if by the end of this season the Ravens are 1st and the Steelers are 2nd in the North. What a fun category, for an epic musical. Hopefully I did it some justice.
The Lion King
#11 
Detroit Lions | (3-1)| Last Rank: 18th (+7)
"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it."
My pick for the Super Bowl this year would have EASILY been #1 in this, had they not choked at home this week to the Bears. The Lions offense has looked about as unstoppable as I predicted before the season - Jonathan Baldwin is a freak. But the defense has barely been a top 20 unit in points and yard allowed. They've also been 5th in the league in time of possession... so perhaps the kryptonite for having such a quick and high-scoring offense is that your vulnerable group is on the field for longer? I still think this is a team that will figure it out. Talib was a great add and solidifies their secondary. And while you could look to the two youngsters I sent them (FS Elam and MLB Hitchens) getting heavy playing time as potential weakness... those two players have been SHINING. They look like huge winners in the Luke Kuechly trade... flipping Cruz to get Baldwin, and getting two stud young starters as "add-ons". Many, many GMs were critical of the DAL-DET Drew Brees trade, and rightfully so. That trade single handedly allowed the Cowboys to boost the team through the draft in ways we didn't have many outlets to do prior. But the Lions won this one right back, and seemingly have learned from the past... like our good friend Rafiki. The question is - why were GMs not as vocal when AF got bent over as they were the first time around? Haha. I -do- think there is a (maybe small) fraction of GMs that just think I have never lost a trade and they hate me for it (or other reasons). The reality is though, I lose plenty of trades. All the time. This is a prime example. The player that went in that trade... Victor Cruz? I traded the 2nd pick in the draft for him, just a few weeks before I traded him in this lost trade, too.
Aladdin
#12 
Tennessee Titans | (2-1)| Last Rank: 6th (-6)
"You've got a friend in me!"
My good buddy,
Tyler Richardson Apolo Shapiro. Yes, it's no surprise that my fellow trade fanatic and POKEMASTER get along so well with so much in common... but the reality is so far in 2015 the Titans have let me down. Like the Lions, the Titans were my pick to play in the Super Bowl. Now with just three games played (they had a BYE last week), that could still VERY much be the case. But sometimes Apolo overthinks things. Case and point? Starting Wenning against the Saints and giving up what could have been an easy win. Wenning was AWFUL. 180 yards and 0 touchdowns to go with FIVE interceptions. Brutal. Had they rolled in that game, like the SFL All Stars did against the Jags and Colts... they are easily a top 5 team here. Certainly not a regression. To further let me down, and this might be insider baseball here that I'm not sure Apolo wants me to disclose, but after I picked them in the Eliminator pool this week, Apolo messaged me and said I should rethink that. Initially I thought that meant he was having another WENNING time, but apparently he just had been running tons of sims and has been getting his ass kicked by the 32nd ranked Falcons. Should I change the pick? I dunno, probably. But I'm not going to, because the Titans are my AFC Champion pick, dammit, and if they can't beat the FALCONS, then they don't deserve to be (3-1). Sorry for blowing up your spot Apolo, I'm sure nobody else is reading this part. I believe in you though, so go beat the Falcons so we can talk about it on PTI next week.
In The Heights
#13 
New York Giants | (3-1)| Last Rank: 7th (-6)
"The point is not who won, but that we all had a sueñito. And when it comes to dreams, we had to keep scraping by."
These f-ckers just won't stop winning. It's so annoying. They get rid of Philip Rivers, but just replace him with Big Ben. They lose Kyle Rudolph in free agency (which hurt not just them, but my wallet), and then stud rookie TE Blake Bell falls to them at the END of the 2nd round. Somehow in the 1st round this year, without really picking at any premium positions, they get stud HB Melvin Gordon, and stud OLB Za'Darius Smith. Those two pricks could literally be the OPOTY and DPOTY. They stole Benn from me in Free Agency by a few bucks... and then used him to kick my ass. This guy is the literal "Teflon Don" of SFL. And the reality is... he PROBABLY should be (4-0), after a very fluky loss to the Packers. This team is GOOD. It sucks. It's the reality of my situation, and baring an injury at QB, it's going to be ANOTHER long year in Dallas. Which sucks, because the NFC East is probably the worst division in the SFL. The Giants still have a few holes (I personally think they're thin at WR, their backup QB sucks, and their secondary is beatable. But those are not enough holes to stop this team from running away with their 3rd straight NFC East Championship. If I had to predict... this division will LOOK closer than it ever will really be. With the Jets, 49ers, and Dolphins as 3 of the next 4 games... this team COULD end up somewhere around (4-3) for the rematch with the Cowboys in NY. Will the Cowboys be better by then? I mean the winless Bills and sorry Eagles are on the schedule (along with the Vikings and Patriots) over the next month... so it's not beyond belief that the Cowboys could be (3-5) or even (4-4) at that time. If the Cowboys somehow luck into a win, maybe it LOOKS like a race down the stretch... but with the Cowboys finishing with Jets on Thanksgiving, then the upstart Packers, then @ Detroit, plus road matchups with Carolina and Washington to close out... Dallas is primed for more disappointment. And once the Giants are in the tournament... anything can happen. Big Ben is good enough to win a Super Bowl. Or at least that's the dream.
The Producers
#14 
Minnesota Vikings | (2-2)| Last Rank: 9th (-5)
"Don't you ever want to become a butterfly? Don't you want to spread your wings and flap your way to glory?"
#15 
San Diego Chargers | (2-2) | Last Rank: 19th (+4)
"The two cardinal rules of producing: 1) Never put your own money in the show. And two? Never put your own money in the show!"
#16 
Indianapolis Colts | (2-2)| Last Rank: 13th (-3)
"We got the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did we go wrong?"
Full disclosure - I've never seen the Directors - but it sounded like a cool one to use for 3/4 of the SFL commish crew that all seem to be floating around the same place. And while I think each of these GMs would attest they'd like to have a 3rd win by this point, each of these teams are VERY dangerous if left to linger around. In fact, I would not be surprised at all if the winner of the Super Bowl is IN this trio. The danger is that each of these divisions are very competitive, and each GM is poised with the task of taking down a huge rival. For the Vikings, they just so happen to have THREE. The Bears are obviously playing amazing, but the Lions and Packers are not far behind. Their path might be the toughest, but with Will coming off a tough loss to the Chiefs... and the Broncos running away with it... their path won't be easy, either. The Colts need to take down the SFL All-Start in Tennessee... something he's very capable of doing, but he needs Matt Ryan to start playing like a star. Interestingly enough, the Chargers have a league worst 13 turnovers, while the Vikings are a league best 2. The Colts are doing pretty good with only 4 turnovers... so it would seem the data indicates that over time, the Vikes and Colts might be the two teams that rise our of this trio, so long as they continue to take care of the ball. Then again.. if the Chargers stop turning it over, that could translate into a big final 12 games. There might not be much wiggle room for the Vikings to develop Tyler Wilson this year, but they're still my favorite roster of the three... even with a much more challenging road to the playoffs.
Oklahoma
#17 
Houston Texans | (2-2) | Last Rank: 30th (+13)
"Yeah, but who wants to be dead?!?!"
I know, I know. Oklahoma isn't TEXAS. But it's still still pretty relative. And what a line from that musical. "Yeah, but who wants to be dead?!?!" Cleary not Wade and his Texans. Wade went full scale this offseason in an attempt to keep his squad. He made multiple changes and aggressively rebuilt his team in just an offseason. It was quite impressive. I think I liked all of his moves except one. That is a huge win rate. Now he just needs that to translate to the field. It appears that after the first quarter than keeping his job is well within reach. The Dolphins are on the schedule this week, so that will be tough... but not impossible. Still to come are the Browns, and Jaguars twice. There are some real heavy hitters on the rest of the schedule, but if they win those three games they SHOULD win, and then steal a game or two, it could be a very good year in Houston.
Beauty and the Beast
#18 
Kansas City Chiefs | (2-2) | Last Rank: 24th (+6)
"How can you read this? There's no pictures! Well, some use their imagination."
#19 
Tampa Bay Buccaneers | (2-2) | Last Rank: 25th (+6)
"LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking. A dangerous pastime. I know."
Rod and Byran stick together once again... each rising 6 spots from the last installment. I think going into this year I underestimated the Chiefs a bit. I didn't believe the post-Eli era was going to be kind, but they immediately seem like a team that could push .500 and maybe even beyond. Impressive wins over the Texans and Chargers have got them right where they need to be. Their losses were to the undefeated Bears, and the very talented Vikings... two games that are out of conference so won't affect them much for playoff tiebreakers. The next three weeks they have Jags, Bengals, Raiders... so don't be surprised if this team is at (5-2) in short order. As for the Bucs, they lost an emotional game in Carolina against Younger Mellon, but are very much in the race for the South. That was an entertaining game that I'm sure pops didn't mind losing. The reality of the situation is though, the Colts, Titans, and Lions are up the next three weeks... and if the Bucs want a real chance at winning the NFC South, they are going to want to win one of those games, probably two. We know the pedigree of Mr. Mellon and are sure he's capable of making it happen. Just don't overthink it... just go win.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
#20 
New Orleans Saints | (1-2) | Last Rank: 5th (-15)
"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit!"
Not really a TON to say here about the Saints. There is a massive hole on the roster, and it's at QB. Ricky Stanzi is a decent QB, but he's not a starter. Rolling him out there 16 times is a recipe for disaster. Aside from that, this is a very talented roster. I've been SO jealous of their LB draft picks the last few years. The secondary and DL are solid. The team lacks playmakers at WR... but until they get a person to deliver the ball to said-skill players... it doesn't really matter who is running the routes. It's a massive fall 15 spots for a team that, like me, choked their way out of a playoff spot last year. The fall might not be over, either, if they don't find some answers on Offense. MOST teams aren't going to volunteer to start a bum like Wenning (like the Titans did) to gift this team W's. 29th in the league in points scored. 30th in yards gained. That's a brutal combo, especially when you're previously top 5 D is now just middle of the pact. The real crime is the defense has NINE takeaways... good enough for 6th best in the league. The offense is just really letting that unit down.
Cats
#21 
Cincinnati Bengals | (2-2) | Last Rank: 3rd (-18 )
"I judge a cat by its soul."
#22 
Jacksonville Jaguars | (1-2) | Last Rank: 4th (-18 )
"Do you think he just got neutered? Because those notes are really high."
This duo was also together in the last installment, but unlike the Bucs and Chiefs (who both went UP), these two teams have dropped 18 spots. That's quite the fall... especially considering neither team has more than 2 losses. They avoided being the biggest fallers, as that honor goes to the Arizona Cardinals (who lost their starting QB). The Bengals beat up on the lowly Browns and Patriots... two of the only teams ranked below them. But they looked highly uncompetitive against the Ravens, and they blew a 4Q lead in Seattle (giving outscored 0-14) in the 4th to lose a game they should have won. I am by no means writing the Bengals off yet... but it does appear at this moment they are the 3rd best team in the North. As for the other cats, the Jaguars, they seem to have lost their roar. But they drafted VERY well, and Jameis WILL be a stud. This team still has elite WRs and a ton of talent on defense. So I certainly think this is a team CAPABLE of winning.. but that division could pose some problems this year (and maybe next year, too). It's still too early to read these two teams completely, but I'd say one of these two will be picking Top 5, and the other will be battling for a Wild Card.
Hadestown
#23 
Cleveland Browns | (1-3) | Last Rank: 28th (+5)
"Cuz here's the thing, to know how it ends and still begin to sing, as if it might turn out this time. I learned that from a friend of mine."
#24 
New England Patriots | (1-3) | Last Rank: 20th (-4)
"Wait for me."
Two teams here that both are in different kinds of hell. The Browns are looking the hot seat dead in the eyes... and made bold moves like trading for QB Brian Brohm. There is still a lot of season left, but tough losses to the Steelers, Bengals, and Ravens (all three divisional opponents) weren't particularly close. That's usually a bad sign for a team that's going to win the division... or secure a Wild Card. Thankfully the Browns finished last year with the 2nd worst record, so getting to 6 wins is all it will take to buy another year. Is it possible they are looking "the end" in the eyes? For sure. But I'm definitely rooting for them, and think (6-10) or a season ending Brohm injury are in play to save the job. As for the Patriots, they are developing a young QB. Derek Carr is a stud, and should be able to keep them competitive this year, but I'm speaking from first hand experience that when developing a young QB... there will be bumps. Ironically these two teams play each other this week... so one of them will fall to (1-4), while the other will be (2-3) and very much back alive. Which one of these two teams gets on the train out of hell this week, and who will be stuck in Hadestown for all of 2015?
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
#25 
Dallas Cowboys | (1-3) | Last Rank: 8th (-17)
"Let's do the time warp again!"
#26 
Washington Football Team | (0-3) | Last Rank: 32nd (+6)
"There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place"
#27 
Philadelphia Eagles | (1-3) | Last Rank: 12th (-15)
"I'll tell you once, I won't tell you twice. You better wise up, Janet Weiss."
What a miserable division this is, ain't it? The Eagles and Redskins played each other... and the Rams had a terrible 5 turnover game... otherwise these three teams might be (0-11). Instead they are (2-9), but still feel VERY far away from the division leading Giants. The crazy part is, this division is SO bad, that a team like a Dallas or Washington could pretty easily crawl their way back into this, if the Giants stumble. While the Eagles are talented in many spots, I can't really consider them as a real threat to win this division based solely on the fact that they don't have a QB currently, and are almost pot-invested now in making sure they start a sub-60 OVR QB to get return on investment for a misguided 1st round pick. The Redskins are on the hot seat, so it's now or never for the talented club. Carson Palmer HAS been starting, which is what makes the teams inability to really do anything offensively all-the-more puzzling. As for my Cowboys, I obviously err'd on the side of caution when I ranked myself so low... after maybe being a little too full of myself last year when I started (7-1). What I'd give to have a time warp and be able to go back and make a few changes. But we don't have a time warp. The Cowboys suck. Not even a near-league-best 11 defensive takeaways have helped us. Our offense needs to mature QUICK. The Eagles should have drafted Jameis Winston (or no QB at all). and the Redskins look like Frankenstein parts all mashed together right now... but there is a light on and a glimmer of hope if they can just get off the hot seat.
Les Misérables
#28 
Arizona Cardinals | (0-4) | Last Rank: 2nd (-26)
"It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live."
#29 
St. Louis Rams | (0-4) | Last Rank: 22nd (-7)
"In a word, they wanted progress - that hallowed, good, and gentle thing. "
#30 
Buffalo Bills | (0-4) | Last Rank: 21st (-9)
"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."
#31 
Oakland Raiders | (0-4) | Last Rank: 15th (-16)
"Excess of suffering, as we have seen, had made him in some sort of visionary."
These 4 teams were ALL predicted to have winning records by me preseason... so to see this group at (0-4) is truly baffling. There are many reasons these teams found themselves here... turnover... injuries... tough schedules. The list goes on. But something is going to have to give if these teams will turn it around this year. I refuse to believe that all 4 of these teams miss the playoffs... but the question is WHO can turn things around so drastically? The Cardinals have the championship DNA - despite being the team that has taken the biggest fall since the last Power Rankings. The Rams are loaded with young offensive talent... they just need a few more defensive pieces to really make a statement. The Raiders are explosive - but aren't finishing drives - going top 10 in yards, but bottom 16 in POINTS. The Bills, for all their flaws so far, nearly beat the Jets last week (and are for sure beating the Cowboys this week). I do wonder if the NFC West might just be TOO tough for the Cardinals or Rams to battle back THIS year, but I doubt either team rolls over. That leaves the Bills and Raiders to rise... if they can start stringing some wins together. Unfortunately for both, the next 4 games for each look pretty tough. Give me the Rams to upset the Cardinals at home this week, then split the @Baltimore and @Seattle road trip, and then dispatch the Browns and Saints to end up at (4-5) and back in the thick of things. The schedule then gets tough again, but I think 8 wins are in play.
The Phantom of the Opera
#32 
Atlanta Falcons | (0-4) | Last Rank: 29th (-3)
"Oh, to-night I give you my soul, and I am dead!"
If you'd have told me that the Atlanta Falcons would win a SUPER BOWL without a GM, and then add a Hall of Fame Madden GM like Garth, only to lose 26 of the next 36 games... I'd never believe you. Garth is an amazing GMs, and he's made solid draft picks since being in Atlanta, and I even think he's been "winning" a lot of his trades. For whatever reason, it's just not translating to the field. Now granted, this is the same team that whooped my ass at the end of last season (to tank their draft stock, and end my season)... and I DID pick them to lose to Tennessee this week in the eliminator pool... so this is for sure the week that Atlanta upsets the SFL All Stars and goes on a winning streak. I will say that despite being in 32nd place, the NFC South seems as up-in-the-air as any division in football. You could tell me any of the 4 teams were going to win it, and I'd believe it. But for the Falcons to stay in that discussion, they need to start winning SOON. Garth only needs 6 wins to save his job, and his moves this offseason (like giving up on Tannenhill) seem to indicate he WANTS to stay in Atlanta... but if he falls the Titans and Giants the next two weeks... I don't think there is any coming back from (0-6). Especially with the ENTIRE NFC West on the schedule, plus the Colts, and five division games. Perhaps Garth is the (Madden) musical genius who haunts the SFL Opera House. He is one of the greatest, but he has fallen in love with this talented, beautiful young thing (this Falcons roster). But it might be too late. He may be dead.
Thanks for reading! I will (hopefully) be back midseason to do another installment after Week 9. I hope you enjoyed this and didn't take offense to anything I said - I'm just a GM of a young, shitty team that's trying to earn some AP to make them better!
