It's been a few seasons since I made any predictions, so I figured it would be a good time to write a prediction article again. Only this time, it's with a twist. If I were familiar with -- or rather, tech-savvy enough to -- create and edit videos on TikTok or some platform, I would've done that, but alas I am not, and I have had a few adult beverages and decided to do an activity with my three dogs. I decided to bring out four of their favorite toys to represent each team in a division. I assigned each toy a number 1-4, and that number corresponds with the team that finished in that place in their division last year. Example for NFC East: 1 - Dallas, 2 - Washington, 3 - Philadelphia, 4 - New York. And the way it works in this exercise is that I allow the oldest dog to pick first. He goes and picks which toy he wants, and that team is who he's picking to win the division. The next dog picks who she thinks will finish second, and then the youngest picks between the remaining two toys for who he thinks finishes third. The toy that doesn't get picked is who they collectively decide will finish last. I did rotate toys for each division so that they wouldn't just pick the same toy each time (yes, they're spoiled assholes and have that many different toys). This is binding, so I apologize in advance for those teams who may have expected something much different for their teams. Or you're welcome, however you want to look at it. Without further ado, here are the decision makers: Meaty Pablo (division winners), Cardi P (second place finishers), and Nipsey Muscle (bronze medalists).
NFC West
1. Seahawks
2. Cardinals
3. Rams
4. 49ers
Making the case for this scenario: injuries plague San Francisco, and are unable to keep their heads above water. Rams ultimately are relying on QBs that this GM drafted, and since I've never been able to develop QBs well, the Rams will feel the pain. Barkley and the Cardinals get some fortunate bounces. The QB room in Seattle is solid, allowing them to overcome any shortcomings. Also, they're the prime beneficiary for injuries in the rest of the division.
NFC North
1. Vikings
2. Lions
3. Packers
4. Bears
Making the case for this scenario: The Vikings winning this division makes sense. They have talented players all over the roster. The Lions will still be very good, and could very well have the same success as last Year with the only difference being Minnesota improved. Green Bay gets some good luck with their rookie QB.
NFC South
1. Panthers
2. Saints
3. Bucs
4. Falcons
Making the case for this scenario: Phil finally gets some good fortune and Dak Prescott makes a huge jump, with Cheeseburger Eddie Lacy carrying the load. The Saints will be good as expected, and Nathan gives up any notion of quitting this league ever again. The elder Mellon will yield a competent and competitive team, but his falling to third in the division is primarily due to the season sweep at the hands of Carolina. Bortles would probably have to have a season ending injury for them to be in this position.
NFC East
1. Giants
2. Washington
3. Cowboys
4. Eagles
Making the case for this scenario: the script for this year includes multiple worst-to-first stories, with the Giants having their name pulled from the hat. Washington promotes and adopts the "Keep Winning" mantra after Wenning leads the team to surprising start. The Cowboys would have to suffer multiple injuries at key positions. Or, in an SFL first, Cowboys will be forced to forfeit several games after some illegal tampering is discovered by the commish. Peter's magic that he had in San Fran will arrive next season.
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