Smashmouth Football League Articles

WHY DO THE SFL WASHINGTON REDSKINS SUCK?

1.) Now You See Me, Now You Don't
GM Mellon gave 1 current 1st round pick, a current 2nd round pick and a future 1st round pick for RB Clinton Portis. I then spend 75,000 AP?s for +2 SPD, 75,000 AP?s for +2 ACC and 25,000 AP?s for +1 STR. This helped Portis be our starting RB and pro bowlers during our 2004 SFL championship season. Next I signed him to a fresh 5 year contract worth $33.2 M over 5 years. Things seem great so far, right? A young stud RB, a pro bowl bert, multiple attribute boosts, a league championship and a fresh 5 year contract. What could be next? Well?.. how about a trade? WTF? A Trade? This crazy GM is trading a player he invested multiple 1st round picks, a 2nd round pick, 175 K AP?s plus a team resign only to trade him? I do not even feel 100% comfortable about this move.

2.) Still Not Good Enough
GM Mellon traded for QB Steve McNair during season 1?s preseason. I sent our 1st round pick, 3rd round pick and backup QB Danny Wuesffel for QB Steve McNair. The only knock on McNair was that he was listed as a scrambling QB which would GM Mellon 100,000 AP?s to convert him to a balanced QB. Just before or just after the trade was made the league offices made an announcement that each team would be allowed a free QB tendency change. GM Mellon and the Redskins hit pay dirt. McNair made the playoffs each year he was with the Redskins with the exclamation point being winning he 2004 SFL championship. What?s next, could it be the much rumored 7 year restructured contract? Nope?.. he get?s the Portis treatment and is traded to the Hot Seat Buffalo Bills and GM Brandon Lindgren for a player taken at 1.03 and labeled a SFL bust in QB Rex Grossman. GM Mellon, wow a championship QB can not even keep you happy. You and your team really do suck.

3.) Hitmen Version 1
GM Mellon?s threatening defense target veteran QB Kurt Warner from the Tampa Bay Bucs in 2005. The Bucs and their GM Paul Criswell being on the hot set had to win versus GM Mellon and the Redskins in order to have a chance for Criswell to remain in Tampa Bay. Rumor had it GM Mellon told his defenders to go extra hard on the veteran Warner. That is just what they did but with even more emphasis than normal. The defense actually knocked Warner out of the game. After the game it was realized that the injury was even worse than originally thought and would see Warner miss the rest of the season. That is right, GM Mellon?s hitmen knocked a future pro football hall of famer in QB Kurt Warner out for the season and almost assuring their GM to be fire at season?s end.

4.) Hitmen Version 2
Here we go, yet another example of where GM Mellon and his dastardly demons on defense were up against another GM who was facing a must win order to keep their job. This time it was divisional rival GM Leo Henry and the Philadelphia Eagles in week 17 of the 2005 season. The Redskins had nothing to play for other than a potential 8-8 record while the Eagles GM was playing for his livelihood. GM Mellon called for no mercy against GM Leo and his backup QB Rob Johnson. The Redskins won the game forcing GM Leo to face his firing and being forced to move to the Carolina Panthers.

5.) Just Too Dominating
To be blessed is one thing but being dominated is another. GM Mellon owns a perfect 8-0 record against division rival (and much less talented) Dallas Cowboys QB William Cook. Just how in the hell can a GM own a perfect 8-0 record against a divisional rival? Is it dominance or is there others workings going on? Could it be HGH? Thus far all Redskins employees have tested negative for HGH and or steroids.

6.) Adding Insult to Injury
While they have always been divisional rivals up until this off season GM?s Mellon and Cook were good friends. Just this past off season GM Mellon has been rumored to have leaked to the media the idea that Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is majorly disappointed with Hot Seat GM William Cook. It is believed that Jerry Jones and GM Mellon had ?secret? talks about GM Mellon coming to Dallas if GM Cook is officially fired after this season. What kind of friend or former friend would swoop in and steal a friends dream job? GM Mellon of the Redskins is the answer to that question.
These are our top reasons as to why the Washington Redskins suck. While the above mentioned moves may not have came from team owner Dan Snyder the team has chosen GM Mellon to represent them so they need to take the blunt here and accept the fact that they suck!